By Gareth Butterfield 
If you’re ever given the opportunity to drive a Skoda Octavia vRS, you come away from it feeling like it must be one of the most complete packages in the automotive landscape.
Here’s a car that, in every one of the four generations we’ve been treated to, can comfortably swallow a family of five, fit all their luggage in the boot, purr along quietly on long journeys, and still embarrass a sports car on a twisty country lane.
In fact, it’s often lauded as a Golf GTI with a bigger boot, and that’s a fair evaluation, because they sit on the same platform, they share the same 2.0-litre petrol engine, the same seven-speed DSG gearbox, and even the same suspension and handling setups.
So not only is it as quick and agile as a Golf GTI, at least in every day driving terms, it’s also more practical, some could argue better looking, and actually a bit cheaper. The thinking man’s hot hatch, then? Perhaps, but the best bit is there’s also an estate option.
Is it actually the perfect car, then? Well, I’d say it gets uncomfortably close. Having spent a week in the hatchback version of the latest, mildly facelifted vRS, it’s easy to start wondering why people bother with the Golf GTI, as much as you wonder why people bother with any other performance car.
But then it dawns on you that there is no such thing as the perfect car and, although the vRS is one of the best all-rounders out there, it does have a few annoying traits that will put people off.
Firstly, the infotainment screen is what you’d probably describe as “cluttered”. There’s a lot going on in there, so if you can’t be bothered to set up a few shortcuts, or if you haven’t got a teenager around to do it for you, you’ll find yourself digging around a lot to find things.
There’s a voice control system, and it’s actually surprisingly clever for a change, but if you’re anything like me you’ll soon get bored of it, and long for just a few more physical buttons.
The DSG gearbox is a peach when you’re having fun, but it’s not great when you’re manoeuvring. The car jerks rather than creeps and it feels a bit lethargic at times.
Oh, and it’s quite thirsty if you’re really exploring the wonderful 262bhp engine on your favourite road trip. Not so bad in general use, admittedly, but it’ll dip below 30mpg surprisingly easily.
I think my biggest issue, though, and it’s an issue I have with the Golf, too, is a lack of personality. This is wholly subjective, and it won’t bother anyone, but it’s almost as if it’s so incredibly competent that it lacks a bit of old-fashioned flair.
I’ve got a mate who’s an accountant, for example. He’s a mathematical genius, and can polish off a tax return in minutes. He’s also a cracking sportsman, and he has an encyclopaedic knowledge of every golf course in the world. But I’d never go on holiday with him. And he’s often the last person I want to talk to at parties.
The vRS is infinitely more exciting than my corduroy-loving pal, but there’s a lack of any drama and theatre in the overall experience. In the Cupra Leon, for example, the same basic formula is there in technical terms, but there’s some silliness baked in too. It feels more dramatic.
And then there’s the Hyundai i30 N. This has a button that unlocks 20 seconds of lunacy called “N Grin Shift”, a drift mode, and the exhaust pops and bangs on overrun. If the i30 N was a person, it would be the life and soul at a party, not the geek standing in the corner waiting for someone to come and talk to him.
But, that said, the Hyundai doesn’t come close to being the perfect car. And the Octavia vRS really does. It’s brilliant in just about every way it needs to be; it’s a pleasure to live with, it’ll thrill you in the bends, and it’s a superb workhorse for every day family life.
At a bare minimum of £40,610, it’s hardly a bargain, but it’s difficult to think of a more complete package, and it’s cheaper than most of the current crop of SUVs that pretend to be sports cars.
Spec up an estate in the no-cost-option of Hyper Green and you’ve honestly picked one of the best cars on the road today. It’s an absolute gem.
