By Gareth Butterfield 
Booking a night in a five-star hotel for just £90 feels like you’re cheating the system. But that’s exactly what I managed to do recently.
A chance find on Booking.com served up a room only, with no breakfast, on a weekday night, at the Celtic Manor Resort near Newport.
For complicated reasons I needed a hotel for a night in South Wales as close as possible to a Tesla supercharging station and this was a pretty obvious starting point. When I found a room for £90, I quickly stopped my search.
Because the Celtic Manor Resort looks every bit the five-star hotel. From its picturesque setting, to its grand facade, everything about it screamed luxury. And I was going to experience it for less than the price of a Premier Inn.
As you walk in to the vast lobby area, with its incredible Christmas tree circled by a festive miniature railway, you feel like you’ve entered another world. Moments before I negotiated the golden revolving door I was doing battle with the riff raff on the M4 – now I was in a five-star hotel that looked and felt like something out of a Hollywood movie.
I strolled confidently up to the reception, slightly regretting the fact I was wearing the clothes I usually walk the dogs in, and checked in.
“Oh, you’re staying in the Manor”, said the nice lady behind the counter as she pulled up my reservation – almost despodescendndently, but not quite. “That’s fine, I can check you in here,” she added.
After treating me to complimentary parking and printing my room card, she gave me directions for “The Manor”. You basically leave the glitzy lobby and descend some stairs. Then you desend an escalator, on which you can watch people enjoying the gorgeous swimming pool area through a window.
And as those lucky, happy people are forcibly removed from your view by the almost symbolic descent, you arrive in a different part of the hotel. It’s all very nice, but not quite the five-star grandeur I’ve just left behind.
Then you descend another escalator, walk through a few corridors and, honestly, you could have been in any other hotel in the land. There was nothing special about “The Manor”, it seemed.
My room, 321, was fairly disappointing after I’d finally reached it. There was nothing wrong with it, as such; it was warm, clean, and comfortable, but I’d just had a flavour of how the other half lives, and now I was back to the crushing reality of what a £90 room actually looks like.
I didn’t spend long there. I dashed back through the long corridors, back up the escalator, and returned to “Narnia” – where the shopping mall felt like a mini Harrods, and the bars and restaurants promised to make me feel like I’d won the lottery.
And that’s exactly what they did. I strolled up to the entrance of Merlin’s Bar, one of several on offer, but one of only a few open, and a young waitress skipped up to me before I’d even crossed the threshold and asked “would you like to have a drink with us this evening, Sir”? She’d asked with such a sweet smile I could hardly refuse, so I sat down with a pint of Peroni and some free salty snacks, sipping away the frustrations of the motorway slog.
As it happens, I could have used the spa facilities as part of my £90 bargain package, but I was tired and hungry, so I made do with a yellow, fizzy aperitif to relax me, rather than some hot stones and whale song.
It was also a good opportunity to peruse the menus on offer that evening. Three of the six restaurants were open. The buffet-style Olive Tree didn’t seem appropriate, nothing at “The Grill” tickled my fancy, but the menu at Steak on Six instantly snared me, with its promise of double AA-Rosette Award-winning food, fine meats, fish, and wine, and stunning views of the Welsh countryside and coast.
As I entered the foyer and waited for a table, Steak on Six felt exactly as I’d hoped a five-star restaurant would do. I was greeted by a besuited waiter who quickly selected a window table for me, but not before he’d very politely and oh-so-subtly pointed out the fact that their set menu cost £80 for three courses. I was already aware of this so I said it wasn’t a problem, but I did regret not having bought some smarter clothes with me. It was a tad embarrassing, feeling like I had to be advised that I didn’t look wealthy enough to dine there, but I was happy to prove them wrong.
The food, though, was simply astonishing. Yes, £80 is a lot of money but I was in the mood to treat myself, and it was absolutely a treat.
I had a Citrus Cured Salmon Starter, a Welsh venison main, and a huge creme brulee for dessert, all washed down with a gorgeous glass of Viognier.
When the bill arrived, I noticed 20% had been wiped off the amount. I asked a waiter why this was and he mentioned something about it being part of the deal when I booked, but I don’t remember anything like that being advertised. I went away assuming it was some sort of sympathy concession, because I was the only one dining alone and in trainers. But on reflection, I suppose it could have been a promotion I’d not spotted.
It was a warm and comfortable night back in my room, cast away from the people who had opted to book what I can only assume would have been incredible Signature rooms and suites in the luxury areas of the main hotel but, even though I was exiled in The Manor, I could still have headed out in the morning to enjoy a spot of archery, a round of golf, some high-wire action, or even axe throwing.
Because the Celtic Manor resort really is a resort, rather than just a hotel. It felt silly really, only spending a night there and not at least sampling the spa.
But it’s certainly given me an appetite to go back. I’ll take the wife this time, and we’ll make a proper weekend of it.
Would I get a room for £90 again? I doubt it, but I can always try. Even if I do, though, I’m definitely bringing a smart shirt and some Chinos this time. Because, while it didn’t seem to matter that I wasn’t suited and booted, the Celtic Manor Resort makes you feel special. And you can’t ask for a lot more than that from your weekend break.
