Taxi Noir: Fun of the Fair

After redundancy in September 2023, I decided to set myself up as an antiques dealer. I didn’t have antiques in my blood. I didn’t come from a long line of antiques dealers. I didn’t even watch Bargain Hunt. I just thought it was the sort of work I’d enjoy, and be good at.

I started out buying stock to sell on eBay and at the occasional auction, but at the back of mind there was always the chance that I might run a stall at a fair. It took a long time to acclimatise myself to the idea. I didn’t think I had the confidence to sell direct to the public, and I certainly didn’t have the knowledge to field difficult questions about my stock.

First Woburn Fair

Toe in the Water

Two years in, and I ran my first stall at Woburn Village Hall in Bedfordshire. I was pretty well prepared. As a former cab driver I knew the importance of having a float of change. I had some rudimentary packing materials, and I even remembered to buy a bed sheet. You need a covering for your table, and you need a substantial overhang so the public don’t see all your unsightly boxes underneath. A white table covering shows off most items well, but it’s a bit impractical. I didn’t want to get involved in all that washing and ironing jive. The organiser, Yvonne, saw me struggling to fold out my sheet and came to help. I got the impression she was used to helping blokes who didn’t know anything about sheet-folding. I later bought navy blue sheets. I’ve no intention to wash or iron them.

I arrived in good time and set out my stall. Other stallholders were going about the same business with grim determination. Those who set out quickly came over to see what I had to sell. This is normal practice at fairs. I had two main fears going into this: one was that I would dislike the experience and not want to repeat it. The other was that I wouldn’t sell anything. It was a success on both fronts. I sold several items, and I actually enjoyed the experience. As a raving introvert I was never going to be the life and soul of the party, but I did at least speak to a few customers and stallholders. Some dealers were familiar from my visiting as a customer over the past two years. It was a surreal experience being on the other side of the table, but I enjoyed it. It was the way forward. I made an executive decision and promoted myself to qualified stallholder.

Lamport Fair

Onwards & Upwards

The fair hierarchy starts at the bottom with village halls and community centres. Medium-sized fairs are typically held in sports halls or conference centres. Large fairs are held on racecourses and country showgrounds.

I progressed to medium-sized fairs, driving further out into Leicestershire and Warwickshire. I then started going east into Essex and Cambridgeshire, and north-east into Lincolnshire. After a while, all those halls melded into one. A sports hall in Watford is the same as a sports hall in Saffron Walden. A funny one at Coalville where the fair only took up half of the hall, with the other half behind a high fence. It was strange hearing shouting and seeing shuttlecocks going up into the air.

Lamport Fair

I felt I’d reached a milestone at Easter 2026 when I booked a two-day fair at Lamport Hall in Northamptonshire. Six months ago I couldn’t imagine myself having the confidence to stand at a stately home, but here I was, and for two days too. It was not only quite a large fair, but one full of quality. By now I was booking double tables; with one table containing antique silver, jewellery and ceramics; and the other displaying my quirky man cave items. I was endeavouring to cover different bases without dialling down on the quality too much.

It was hard to tell how big the Lamport Hall fair was, as it was spread out over different rooms – including stables – and some of it was outdoors. I had Graham beside me, and there were other stallholders who I knew. It was busy from the off. I had my best day so far, and I was in my element. The second day wasn’t as good, but my takings over the two days were much higher than an any other fair I’d done so far. I was happy and I felt at the top of my game. It was all coming together.

Lamport Fair

The Changing Man

My personality was undergoing a change too. I was becoming less self-conscious. On the second day I arrived early and walked around the grounds looking at other people’s stalls. I bought a few items and chatted a bit to the stallholders. I had more confidence with customers and started to upsell. I’d acquired several pieces of costume jewellery and had introduced a £10 box. It proved popular. If I saw people looking through the box I’d offer two pieces for £18 or three for £25. I successfully converted two sales the first two times I tried this.

I still needed to work on product knowledge though. At the end of every fair I make sure I dispose of all my rubbish. I saw a receptacle next to someone’s outside stall. Was it a bin, or was it someone’s Edwardian umbrella stand? I asked the organiser, Gary, for clarification. You have to be careful in this game.

Author

  • Chris has written hundreds of articles for such august magazines as Taxi, Your Cat and Viz letters page. A London cab driver off and on for over thirty years, in 2018 Chris published a humorous book, 'From Manor House Station to Gibson Square: Secrets from the London Taxi Trade' about his experiences. Now living in Bedfordshire, Chris attends the Mod Weekender in Brighton every August, and is a fan of Eastbourne’s pubs, and Butlin’s Bognor Regis music weekenders. He says he’d visit the south coast more often if London wasn’t in the way.

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